The Mummy (2017)

On the surface, THE MUMMY beckons with the thrills a summer blockbuster requires. But it’s just surface; unwrap the gauzy exterior and one finds a whole lot of predictability and cliché stupidity. This time, the untombed mummy, female (Sofia Boutella), picks Tom Cruise as her intended, so right there you know that discerning choices won’t overwhelm this film. Add hapless sidekick (Jake Johnson, reprising his goofball shtick from TV’s New Girl where it’s already grown stale) in a manner completely derivative of An American Werewolf in London; a supposed-to-be-feisty archaeologist/love interest/blonde placeholder (Annabelle Wallis); and Russell Crowe for no other reason than Universal Studios plans to go all Marvel and make a “Dark Universe” of interlocking horror franchises. It will leave you pining for the throwback charm of the predecessor Mummy (1999) and the charisma of its stars, Rachel Weisz and Brendan Fraser. —YSM

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We love to sit in the dark with a big tub of popcorn amid a roomful of strangers. Reports on what we witness there come in two varieties: Bullet Reviews quickly and concisely convey our take on a film, always in spoiler-free fashion; Trailer Trash reveals Your Sacrificial Moviegoer's best prediction on whether an upcoming movie is worth seeing, based solely on the trailer (the short "previews" before the feature presentation).

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